Love is NOT a feeling! And we should stop seeing it as such!
- psinataliafiorati
- Jan 24
- 2 min read
We don’t know what love is!

No one knows precisely what is "love", which ends up becoming an empty term. This is because society calls "love" a myriad of different emotions, for example, passion, jealousy, affection, desire, etc. And love can contain all this, but not all this is love!
What is love?
Love is a learned set of behavioral and sentimental processes that influence each other. So, it is necessary to LEARN to love and it is the action that creates love, not the reverse! To be able to love and to be loved, one must recognize that loving is not a feeling that is given, but an action that must be cultivated daily.
Love is not only a feeling that we do not control, it is not only passion and desire. Love is the way we act, assuming responsibility and commitment. It is through action that we feel the love of others, and that we make our love feel - and thus, we create love among ourselves.
"Love is what love does" - Bell Hooks
To be able to truly love, it is necessary a set of behaviors learned: care, affection, self-esteem, self-confidence, responsibility, respect, equality, commitment, tolerance to frustration, trust, honesty, among others. And this is a mutual learning!
Understanding love as ACTION is to understand that abuse and violence do not coexist with love! For love is not only a feeling, it is the way in which one acts seeking the good of the other. Thus, love is a set of deeply connected feelings and behaviors, but it is a choice to act in a loving way.
And for those who want to know more about the topic "Love", here are some reading recommendations:
Bell Hooks "About Love" trilogy:
All about love: new perspectives
Salvation: black people and love
Communion: the women’s search for love
"En defensa de Afrodita: Contra la cultura de la monogamia" by Na Pai


